3 Situations In Which Parents Need To Handle Their Business
Today’s entry may be a bit of a rant, but I don’t mean it as unkindly as the title perhaps suggests. I will preface everything by saying that I don’t hate children. I really don’t. My sister is the kid whisperer. All her life, kids have gravitated to her, even previously feral children. She has a gift, and that’s cool. Me? Any child and I that interact share a wary sort of truce. I am friendly with children, but I won’t deny there’s an awkwardness there. It’s just the way I am.
Now that’ve I’ve laid out the “I don’t hate kids” disclaimer, I can move onto the meat of my rant.
I am obviously speaking as a childfree person. I don’t have any tiny lifeforms depending on me to keep them alive. I by no means am pretending to know what demands are made on parents. I do, however, have a message for parents everywhere: Not everyone loves your children. So when little Annie’s throwing a tantrum or Joey’s running through the room at top speed on his tiny toddler legs, not everyone’s thinking aw, how cute!
This isn’t to say that people hate your children, or that I hate your children. It’s just a friendly reminder that while you may have chosen to make your children the center of the universe, that doesn’t meant everyone views them thusly. They’re not obligated to. It’s important to make a distinction here that this isn’t an attack on all parents or all children and definitely not all of the time. That being said, lately I’ve noticed a severe lack of respect, both on the children and parent’s behalf. As a childfree person, I’m begging you, parents: please, handle your business, in these three situations in particular.
- Weddings.
While I maintain wedding receptions are the best bits of weddings (Dancing! Music! Cake!), the actual marriage ceremony itself is a big deal. The bride has generally spent a great deal of time, money, energy, and anxiety to arrange her day the way she wants it. Usually the couple getting married want a perfect day that’s all about them. I can only imagine how disappointed I would be to have a wailing child as the backdrop for my vows and any video I might be paying for (a friend of mine paid to have her wedding recorded, and her cousin let her baby scream the entire ceremony).
I get that parents want to see their loved ones get married, and they don’t want to sit outside in the hall with a crying kid just miss just that. I get that parents can’t always find babysitters, or afford to pay said babysitter. But it comes to a point that you’re allowing your child to encroach on everyone else’s experience, especially the bride and groom who, statistically, spend thousands of dollars on their day. So please, if your kids start to act up, remove them.
- Funerals.
Recently I attended the funeral of a Korean War veteran. Somebody a long time ago told me that funerals are for the living, not the dead, and I completely agree with that statement. I didn’t go for the sake of the man in the coffin. Don’t get me wrong, he treated me kindly and had a fun sense of humor, and great taste in westerns, but he’s not the reason I went. I went to support my aunt. She may or may not remember that I was there, but that’s not what’s important. What’s important is that today, the day she buried her father, she was surrounded by family and friends that loved her. That’s a small measure of comfort that I hope helps cover her in this dark time.
Unfortunately, the lovely ceremony (21 gun salute! Veteran color guard!) was constantly disrupted by one child. ONE CHILD. She wasn’t the only kid there (there were at least seven children under ten), but she was the only one allowed to run amok. Now I understand, much like the weddings, her parents wanted to see the ceremony and take part in it. But part of having children is being responsible, and especially in this case, when both parents were present, the child should have been removed. There’s a time for the pitter patter of little feet, and there’s a time for taking your kid outside until she calms the hell down (I think that’s written in Ecclesiastes somewhere).
- Any Public Place Others Are Paying To Be.
This is a tricky one, and this is the one that seems to cause the most issue lately in the news. Case in point, that restaurant in Australia that banned children under seven after a mother refused to remove a particularly noisy child. I realize parents are busy and enjoy family dinners just like everyone else, but children who scream for the sake of screaming (even the childfree know the difference), or kids who are allowed to run around, dirty unused tables, and generally be obnoxious should be removed.
Another good place to not like your children shriek/scamper are theaters or cinemas. I hate paying $10 for a movie ticket to have kids yelling and generally being a nuisance. I hate even more paying $70+ for a ticket to a theater show to have the experience similarly ruined.
Bottom line, if you’re in a public space where others are paying to be and your kid is screaming and having a bad night, you need to remove them from the situation, as simple as that. It’s unfair to expect strangers to spend their money on a specific experience to have it so derailed.
I am not a fan of the old “children should be seen and not heard.” I think children need to play and be kids, and it’s okay for them to run and shout and cry. Kids need to be heard and not packed away like an unwelcome accessory. Kids are going to play and cry and shout and laugh as they learn to become people. I ask only that you teach them to respect others as they would wish to be respected.
Gifs from reactiongifs.com, and eriksenn.
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