Who’s Killing Who Now

Forgive me, readers. It has been 159 days since my last blog post.

I have no excuse for being absent. Yes, professionally it’s been a rough four months. I lost my position and was forced to take another, a transition that was rough in the good moments and brutal in the bad. The job I now work day-to-day is fairly simple, but the hours (4a.m. to 1p.m.) have been a terrible adjustment to which I have yet to actually adjust. My freelancing job additionally had consistent work for me these past three months, which is good for my pocketbook, even if it wasn’t for my mental health.

I know, I know, I can hear you all now: “But isn’t this blog your outlet? Didn’t you yammer on about that?” Well yes and yes, but apparently I’ve still got to work some of the kinks out of my grand plan because I’ve been in a dark place these past months. There have been glimmers of goodness. I didn’t have to work Christmas Eve for the first time in ten years, and that was pretty rad.  I rang in the New Year at a party with my squad (and I wasn’t even the one wearing the Cone of Shame). I got to cuddle kitties.  But the cloud over my head was there throughout, and I couldn’t fend it completely off.

But I’m feeling a little stronger now, even if things are still wonky, and I’m reclaiming my space. I’m killing the sorrow today, not the other way around. Today, I’ve turned on the light.