That’s What She Said

“Quote me as saying I was misquoted.”

Groucho Marx

My workplace has an ongoing theme this year of communication for our employee development meetings. There’s a system with colors and personality types, and it’s aimed at getting people to recognize their strengths and weaknesses so they can communicate more effectively with everyone. The goal, of course, is to be a stronger, more efficient team. While I’m still trying to figure out the system declaring me a Blue—and how I’m supposed to interact with Oranges, Golds, and my apparent natural nemeses, the Greens—in one way this whole process is working, because I’ve been thinking about communication a lot lately.

Mostly I’ve been thinking about what a terrible communicator I am, which is ironic, because I went to school to be a writer. I have a degree in communications. I used to pride myself on being well-expressed, and therefore, understood. I sit before you today a muddled mess of maudlin misunderstanding.

Partly I blame the English language. Despite how very specific it can be, English also has a maddening ability to open any statement, no matter how well-crafted, up to interpretation.  (University students, back me up on this. Especially you English majors.) This unintentional wiggle room has swallowed me up, leaving me vulnerable to existential crises.

Of course, the only gifts adulthood handed me at the door were anxiety and depression, so even the simplest misunderstanding at work sends me into a gibbering torrent of apologies and over-explanations. The result? Nights lying awake looking at the ceiling going over every awkward moment in agonizing detail.

Being understood is important. Feeling like you’re understood might be even more important. When you consider the whole of human history, understanding is a motivation that drives us all: artists, philosophers, scientists. Women, men, right-brains, left-brains, young, old… any spectrum you can think of. As a soul wandering this mortal landscape, I crave comprehension. I want to know and be known.

“The improvement of understanding is for two ends: first, our own increase of knowledge; secondly, to enable us to deliver that knowledge to others.”

John Locke