The Perks of Being a Cat Slave

Do you think you might be a cat person but aren’t quite sure? Are you on the fence about adopting a cat? Do you want a pet roomie? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then this post is for you.

Cats are amazing. Despite what dog-devotees would have you believe, cats are super loving creatures. They’re playful, creative problem solvers, which is a good thing since they’re usually the ones getting themselves into problems that require creative solutions!

So here’s a brief list of reasons why everyone needs a cat in their life.

Cats clean themselves.

Unless your cat is elderly, sick, or disabled, odds are she grooms herself and you only have to worry about the periphery of claw trimming. Exceptions occur, of course, especially if you have an outdoor cat that likes to pick fights with skunks. That’s one way to spice up your TikTok.

Like a little bit of schadenfreude?

Cats could be your pets of choice, then. Cats can be exceedingly curious and 204% more clever than what’s good for them. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to rescue my cat from a situation she trapped herself in. Not before getting a picture, though, because, well, Instagram. Pet antics truly make the world go ‘round.

Cats give the best massages.

Okay, so maybe it’s not the most comprehensive massage you’ll ever get, but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve fallen asleep to the gentle kneading of tiny paws. Sometimes she doesn’t even use her claws, and that’s how I know she cares.

Speaking of claws…

BATTLE SCARS. No one likes to get hurt, but life happens. Sometimes life happens in the form of your cat getting into something that smells like Cthulu squeezed death juice out of his own anus. When this happens, you have to bathe your cat, and that leads to some pretty wicked battle scars. Of course, if someone asks about them, I’d leave out that Cthulu death juice and say you were wrestling gators or something. Seems simpler.

So basically…

You can’t go wrong choosing a cat. The adorableness of cats spans over length, color, and pattern of fur, as well as size, age, and personality. You never quite know what you’ll get. Maybe a pair of stripey kittens who chase their tails? A geriatric spinx cat who cuddles on cold nights? Can’t live without a tuxedo cat inexplicably named El Salvador? There are no wrong answers here. Just be aware that cats are an awful lot like Pokemon: you’ll wanna catch ‘em all.

Source: I am a crazy cat lady. Sadly, I’m only slave to one at the publishing of this post.

Let me end on a serious note. Cats are amazing and if you have the time, money, love, and ability to commit to a cat, I highly recommend it. But for the love that all that is good and fuzzy, adopt your new best friend, don’t buy them from breeders or shops. Make sure your furry companion gets fixed so you don’t unexpectedly have an influx of kittens. Don’t declaw your furbaby because that’s inhumane and cruel; if you can’t handle scratch marks, you can’t handle a cat. And most of all, make sure you lavish your cat with the love and affection she deserves for as long as she lives.