P.S. I Feel Like Rapunzel at 7:15

I have a little bit of an obsessive nature. I obsess about things forever. I tend to attract friends who do the same. So when a dear friend of mine introduced me to James Marsters (not personally, obviously) and we fell in love, everything James Marsters, large or small, was sought after.

In P.S. I Love You, James plays Gerard Butler’s best friend whose best scene, unfortunately enough, was cut from the film (but still available on the DVD). It’s not a large role (although James is charming, as per usual), but that’s not even the point of this entry.

In the film, there’s that scene where Hillary Swank’s character (Holly) and her two friends are fishing in Ireland. In the midst of a scuffle, both paddles to their boat are lost, and they’re forced to drift until they can be picked up. As the scene unfolds, we learn that one of the women is pregnant and another is getting married. Of course, Holly is still actively grieving her husband and is dismayed to hear that life goes on.

This scene is possibly the best metaphor for my life right now. I’m in that boat, that life stage, where one friend is pregnant, another’s getting married. Yet another has a new beau. Soandso is buying a house. Whatsherface finally got a job opportunity in her field. Friends are happy when their friends get what they want, and I’m happy. Honestly. But it gets tougher as it keeps happening, as all my friends and family and coworkers and college buddies get what they want, and then there’s me.

There’s no quiet, good-looking Irish men looking to rescue me. I can’t even save myself. I’m in a row boat with no paddles. Yes, the scenery is gorgeous, and I can appreciate the beauty, but somehow it doesn’t make up for the endless drifting.