Distractions
I’ve had a real problem concentrating lately. Focusing has become a sisyphean challenge, full of repetitions, failure, and very little joy.
This May was a record for CSO: the most posts in a single month since the blog started two years ago. Total post count for the month was seven. SEVEN. That’s nearly twice a week, which was my original goal way back when. But looking back at them, more than half are Wordless Wednesdays. Not that WW posts don’t “count,” but a lot goes on in my brain that I want to get out, I have opinions I need the world to hear. May was no different, so what happened?
June would be better, I resolved. I would finally blog twice a week for realsies, like a proper blog owner, culminating in a wisdom-riddled Happy Birthday to Me post. So of course, here we are, the end of June, and I’ve got a whopping total of 3, including this one. Two pictures and some sloppy thoughts on diversions. A fitting little snapshot for my life right now.
I spent a great deal of time and headspace berating myself for not being brilliant. Every time I had a crap day and couldn’t motivate myself to write, I mentally assigned myself fifty lashes. Bad health day that lead to supreme fatigue? More like supremely failing at life, fifty more lashes. And it went on and on until it led here. Here’s where I’d like it to stop, but realistically, I know this is still a process I have to wrestle with. I can only try to do better next time.
Or, as Corissa (aka FatGirlFlow) once so beautifully said:
I used to get so angry when people would say “just do the best you can”, until I realized that the best you can do changes from day to day. Some days the best we can do is listen to our bodies and take it easy and not be too hard on ourselves.
I’ve decided to embrace the distractions since they’re going to happen anyway.
This Week’s Distractions
- These portraits are incredible. WHY CAN’T I DO THIS?!
- I’ve been attempting to teach myself CSS. Then decided to go back through HTML because it’s been a looooooooong time.
- Jayda’s June square is totes adorbs and now I wish I were making this blanket.